


Just died in your arms tonight (must have been something you said)

by Rothecooldad



Series: flashfic rovember [3]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, FAHC, GTA AU, Heavy Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, one of the best things ive written and nobody will read it, this is sad but here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 06:12:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16510853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rothecooldad/pseuds/Rothecooldad
Summary: “Gavin,” Matt huffed but fell back against Gavin’s lap. “I’m dying.”“You’renot.”  The reassurance, as much for Gavin as it was for Matt, felt hollow, even to his own ears. But Gavinrefused.Matt was going to be okay.He had to be. Gavin’s fingers twitched against Matt’s wound. “You’re going to befine, Matthew.”





	Just died in your arms tonight (must have been something you said)

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All characters are based upon the internet personalities portrayed by members of Achievement Hunter and in no way are meant to reflect the lives of the actual person or persons themselves.

_ “Ga-Gavin--” _

 

_ “ _ Shhh, I gotchu, don’t worry.”  Gavin whispered, trying to comfort Matt. His voice was as shaky as the trembling hand he kept pressed against Matt’s side. He didn’t dare look down, afraid of the blood staining his fingers a sickening red. He didn’t even want to consider what it meant.

 

Another bullet ricocheted off the car, and Gavin flinched, pulling Matt closer, the fingers of his other hand tangling in Matt’s hair. 

 

“P... _ lease--”  _ Matt insisted, his voice barely more than a harsh breath. Gavin had to struggle to hear him over the roaring in his ears. He forced himself to focus, gnawing on his bottom lip.

 

The car lurched to the side, throwing both Gavin and Matt back against the seats. Matt groaned in pain, getting caught in his throat as the next bump jostled them. Gavin pulled Matt as close as he could, impossibly close, head cradled on his lap as Gavin tried to keep them still.

 

“ _ Ryan,”  _ Gavin yelled to the front of the car. “Will you  _ please.”  _ If he got a response back, it was lost in the chaos. It didn’t matter what Ryan said, only what he  _ did. Which better be getting them the hell out because  _ **_Matt needed help quick._ **

 

Matt stared up at him, his nose scrunched up in a way that Gavin would have found adorable if Matt wasn’t bleeding out on top of him. 

 

“Gavin,  _ listen.”  _ He tried to sit up, but Gavin stopped him.

 

“You’ve gotta save your strength, okay?” 

 

“Gavin,” Matt huffed but fell back against Gavin’s lap. “I’m dying.”

 

“You’re  _ not.”   _ The reassurance, as much for Gavin as it was for Matt, felt hollow, even to his own ears. But Gavin  _ refused.  _ Matt was going to be okay.  _ He had to be.  _ Gavin’s fingers twitched against Matt’s wound. “You’re going to be  _ fine,  _ Matthew.”

 

“I  _ am. _ ” A harsh, wet cough broke off his statement, and Gavin felt Matt’s chest heaving against his thighs. He swallowed, his eyes involuntarily flitting to Matt’s mouth, lips parted in another silent cough. Gavin tore his gaze away quickly, returning to staring into Matt’s eyes, where it was  _ safe.  _ There was no missing the flecks of blood, though.  _ God, so much blood.  _ Gavin has never  _ hated  _ the color red as much as he did then.

 

“Don’t, er...” he tried to chuckle, but it felt like gravel in his throat. “Don’t be so dramatic.” His joke fell flat, his stomach turning. Gavin could taste bile.

 

“And I just,” Matt continued feebly, ignoring Gavin’s protests. “Wanted to let you know--”

 

“You can tell me later, Matt.” Gavin cut him off. “When you’re  _ better. _ ” He knew, or at least, he had a  _ feeling _ about what Matt wanted to say -- they’d been dancing around it for long enough, the pink elephant in the room surrounded by comical valentine’s hearts, neither willing to make the first move but neither willing to back off -- and he couldn’t let Matt continue. He  _ couldn’t.  _  He didn’t want to hear it anymore, not now, not when it might be the last, the  _ only _ , time he hears it. Not when it’s all he’d wanted for years, but  _ not like this. _

 

“Fucking  _ listen, asshole.”  _ Matt was angry, but his words lacked heat behind them, already faint and growing weaker. What Gavin wouldn’t give for Matt to just  _ scream _ at him right now, to tell him how absolute shite he was being, and smack him upside the head like he clearly deserved.  _ Anything _ that meant things were  _ normal,  _ that Matt was still  _ okay. _ “There won’t-” Another hacking wheeze. “Be a later!”

 

Gavin’s eyes burned, and he tried to blink away the tears blurring his vision. He opened his mouth to speak, but snapped it shut, jaw clenching. What could he say that he hasn’t already? More false hope that would fall on deaf ears? They both knew the outcome was looking grim, and Gavin could lie to Matt even less than he could himself right now. Of its own accord, Gavin’s hand trailed down Matt’s cheek, wiping away the sweat and tears on the feverish skin. He tried not to focus too hard on the blood he smeared with his thumb.

 

With a shuddering breath, Gavin jerked his head up in a stilted movement that was as close to an admission as he was able to give. This wasn’t  _ fair. _

 

“Good,” Matt’s voice broke. He smacked his lips, visibly struggling, and Gavin couldn't avoid staring if he tried, his eyes automatically drawn to the movement, the blood trickling out of the corner of Matt's mouth, soaking into his beard in a sticky red mess that Gavin would give anything to not have to see. He couldn't,  _ wouldn't,  _ look away. This was important, and as much at it hurt  _ so goddamn much,  _ this was Matt.  _ His  _ Matt. His lovely Matt that he'd spent years getting to know, teasing and flirting and  _ loving,  _ and he never even got to --. 

 

He cut his own thoughts off, his heart clenching painfully as he watched Matt. This wasn't about him. 

 

Matt lifted his hand to Gavin's cheek, giving him a look that was so scared and tired and full of  _ love  _ \-- yes, of course love, there was always love even if they were both too stubborn to give it a name. Nothing felt as good, hurt as fucking  _ bad,  _ as Matt's cold,  _ too cold _ , and trembling fingers cupping his face. Gavin knew Matt must be using up too much energy doing this, but he couldn't bring himself to yell, leaning into the palm of Matt's hand. He wanted to curl his fingers around Matt's, but even then, he wasn't willing to risk moving his hands away from Matt's wound.   _ What if he let go, and Matt died?  _ He thought helplessly, pressing down firmer.

 

_ What if he didn't let go, and Matt still died?  _ was a thought he tried desperately to suppress.

 

“Gavin,” Matt started, his thumb slowly stroking Gavin's cheekbone. “I-”

 

Whatever Matt had been about to say -- those brilliant words that would have been far too much for Gavin to hear -- never came after all.

 

It might've been a ditch, or a pedestrian, or a bloody caravan of circus performers as far as Gavin knew, and he couldn't be arsed to care one way or the other. What mattered was that whatever it was that they'd hit made him lose his grip on Matt, and suddenly Matt's hand fell from his face and his eyes fluttered shut, and he was  _ gone.  _

 

He was gone and Gavin was still here and it  _ wasn't fair.  _

 

He screwed his eyes shut, desperate to dispel the image of Matt's dead body laying across Gavin's lap like a limp ragdoll, only to find that it was burned into his mind, playing behind his eyelids mockingly.

 

Still, he didn't open his eyes, because then it was _real,_ and a world without Matthew Bragg made _no_ _sense._

 

“Gav,” and that was Ryan, his voice distant but soft, softer than Gavin had ever heard him speak, and that was the last straw for Gavin. Ryan's hand was on his shoulder, which meant that they must be stopped, must be back at the base, but it was  _ too late _ . 

 

And so, Gavin cried, wracked with sobs as he pulled Matt's body to him in a way that would have been painful if Matt had still been able to complain, mourning everything that had been lost to him, to the crew, and mostly just  _ missing Matt _ like an ache so fierce it would never leave.

 

After a few moments, but what felt like hours, Ryan spoke again, urging Gavin to go inside, saying that he'd take care of Matt. Even Ryan couldn't swallow down his emotions, the grief palpable in the way he spoke Matt's name.

 

Gavin knew Ryan was right, that he wasn't strong enough to carry Matt's body inside, but he refused to let go.

**Author's Note:**

> im absolutely not sorry  
> tho i will say im debating on writing a follow up that may or may not be a fix it  
> guess we'll see huh  
> come yell @ me over on [my blog ](http://jeremwood.tumblr.com)


End file.
